Harry Peter Deans (also knows simply as “The Deans”) was born in Southampton on the 25th April 1979. It is alleged that his brain was born on the Isle of Wight to the virgin peanut though this information has not been confirmed at this point. At 25 years old he still lives with his mother Liz, stepfather Mick and sister Rachel.
He was described as ’something’ of an enigma by his old music teacher, Mr. Parker - something that is made only too obvious in his bizarre solo album “Up My Science” which contain tracks such as “Teddy Bears in Great Yarmouth”, “Why don’t you just walk on over” and “Tapping a piece of wood against a radiator”.
Harry is partial to a good curry and has an enormous appetite for booze. At just five foot nine, his tolerance to alcohol is to be revered on an evening out, as is his ability to comfortably sleep in his own sick.
He has somehow managed to hold down his latest girlfriend, Caroline, for some considerable time. After briefly flirting and indeed bedding a few Thai ‘girls’ on his travels, he now remains devoted to his latest beau.
Harry currently works for the coast guard in a position of authority (god save us) though he doesn’t see that as his final job before death. Indeed, he is seriously considering a path into the Inland Revenue. Here he hopes to hold down a good job for the next forty or so years until retirement. He will of course in that time learn all the tricks of the trade in tax-dodging.
Well done to him.
More exciting facts about Harry Deans
- He began his educational life at Bitterne Park School in Southampton before being made to attend St George Catholic Boys Secondary School.
- Despite not being Catholic he managed to learn how to receive the body and blood of christ through his non-heathen chums. He will obviously be eternally damned for this terrible act that he only undertook in order to get some alcohol.
- During his secondary school life, Harry was a little terror and would often be on report for pranks such as trying to get as many pairs of protective goggles over his head in Chemistry, firing water at people using syringes in Biology and making the ‘make it fart machine’ fart during physics. This was not as bad of course as ‘New Boy’ setting fire to Dirty Andrews’ grey shirt during one particularly dull physics lesson.
More fascinating facts on their way. If you know him, submit your own…